I agreed at first but it makes me feel terrible. He got mad at me for jokingly saying something and told me to shut up and he regretted contacting me. I was hurt by this. He said he often felt inferior and that led to a long emotional coversation. He said it made him feel terrible for writing this but that it was the truth.
What should I do if I even want to start repairing our friendship? Is it possible to even get him back after so long? I have tried NC for two weeks once, and he acted very strangely. He sent me several messages in a row and commented on my posts. I feel like if I were to do it again he would just block me. I really need help with this. I had sent a message on Snap a week before starting no contact. He also watched my story and sent me a message asking if I wanted to talk or if I needed more time. Thank you for responding. He stated that be had given me more chances than anyone and that he was tired of getting mad at me.
The thing that had made him this upset was me calling him cupcake. This was someone I had always been there for. Someone started a smear campaign against him basically and he still wanted to be friends with them. His behavior started coming off as extremely immature. I asked if all he felt when talking to me were bad feelings. He responded with they were either that or sexual. This was a hurtful comment after I have done my best to be nice and civil to this person.
I still care about him since we have been friends for a while and a part of me does love him. After that he mentioned that he wanted to continue to read the short stories and the book I was working on because he had nothing but respect for me as an author. I ended the conversation by saying I needed time to think and that I should never have stooped down to this level. He immediately responded back with that he needed to know if it was goodbye.
The sudden change over something like that confuses me. I feel that I may have put him in a position of power after begging when our relationship was over months ago and agreeing to friends with benefits. During NC I already made plans to attend a few musicals, art classes, and spend time with friends. I plan on improving myself. I just want to know what I should do afterwards so I can prepare? Just a reminder, nc means no replying too nor commenting back to his comments on your posts if he does.
Do you want to restart nc and follow the advice above? If he blocks you, so be it. Your email address will not be published. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Getting Over Your Ex. The No Contact Rule. Breakups are rarely neat and tidy.
The problem is, if you want your ex back, sleeping with him is absolutely NOT the answer. They end up sleeping together and then he totally brushes her off, and then badmouths her to some of the other guys, saying: Bridgette December 26, at 4: Amor December 27, at Luci December 17, at 6: Amor December 20, at 6: Luci December 15, at 3: Amor December 15, at 5: Rose December 4, at 4: Amor December 5, at 7: Hi Rose, you already talked to him, so the last approach is to do 45 days..
Sonja August 29, at 6: Hi, So I did no contact for about three or four weeks. Amor August 31, at Lilliane August 24, at 9: Amor August 24, at Lucy August 22, at 4: Amor August 22, at Michelle August 2, at 7: Amor August 5, at 5: Amor August 1, at 5: Julia July 30, at 4: Sorry for commenting twice. I put the wrong email the first time. Julia August 8, at 7: I know you have places to be, people to text and work to do but I want you to do yourself a favor. All I am asking is that you take 3 minutes of your time to watch this video:. The average person lives about 28, days.
Well, that means that everyone, when they are born, start off with 28, jellybeans. When you look at what the average American spends time wise on each of the things that I listed above that means that you will be left with 2, jellybeans to do with as you please. Time to go out on dates, meet people, enjoy life and do things that you deem as worthy of those jellybeans. In PRO I teach something pretty revolutionary.
Man Of Your Dreams- Basically, this is your future husband.
He IS your prince charming. No, this is speaking directly to that one perfect person for you that is out there.
Typically it isn't recommended to hook up with an ex for fear of Couples-Only Subscription Boxes That Will Make You Want to Stay in for Date. When you realize “my ex only wants sex,” it's tough to know how to react. that on the table two days after you've broken up, when your heart is in the gutter.
Well, then you will never find love, you will never have a lasting relationship and you will never get married. In other words, you will never find true happiness. If you were presented with this scenario where your time is extremely valuable how do you think your ex would fare? Would you even want to waste your precious time on someone like this? Would he play with your emotions? Would he treat you like your ex has been treating you?
I can tell you one thing. I promise we are getting closer to the different ways in which an ex boyfriend can use you after a breakup. However, before I get to that there is one last thing that has to be discussed. I rarely say anything like this but the information that I talk about in this section is vital to helping you understand if you are being used by your ex. Hypocrite- A person who claims to have certain beliefs but acts in a way that completely disagrees with those beliefs.
In other words, if your ex boyfriend says one thing but does another then that would make him a hypocrite. For example, if your ex boyfriend said to you that he wanted to get a place together at the end of the month. Well, that would mean that he is claiming that he holds the belief that the two of you will get a place together at the end of the month.
Above we established that someone held a certain belief. In other words, if your ex boyfriend got cold feet and backed out of getting that place together at the end of the month by definition that makes him a hypocrite.
Words and actions will be your primary ammunition for deciphering if your ex is using you or not. I like making things easy for people. I feel that when I complicate subjects that not a lot of people walk away fully grasping that subject. Unfortunately, this entire website is based on a very complicated subject exes. So, the challenge that I am faced with is trying to find a way to easily help you understand the concepts that I want you to understand.
In this case, what I want you to understand is if you are being used by your ex boyfriend or not. So, when I was planning this entire guide out I was lucky enough to find an easy way that can help you determine that. Let me run through a hypothetical situation to show you exactly how you can use words and actions to determine if an ex is using you. Lets pretend that you and your ex are on talking terms after the breakup.
This chemistry eventually leads to a situation where the two of you sleep together. Unfortunately, day after day goes by and nothing happens.
You keep sleeping with your ex and he keeps feeding you some line like,. The words seem nice and they are kind of want you want to hear. Ideally, you want to be official as soon as possible but at least when he feeds you this line you feel there could be a future relatively soon.
Rather than manning up and locking you down he keeps using you as a booty call and you fall for it every single time. You see, when we date someone we want to believe that everything they say is the truth. This is something that I have noticed in my own personal life. For example, maybe I start falling for someone and they start telling me things about themselves. That person could lie about everything and I would believe it without question because I am falling for them. Yes, becoming friends with benefits is the dumbest idea ever more on that later.
Because, when you care for someone on that intense of a level you want to believe every little thing that they say and it is easy to be taken advantage of. If you really want to test and see if your ex is taking advantage of you what you will be looking for is an agreement between his words and his actions. In other words, if he says something and then later follows through by doing it then he is GOOD!
That means there is an agreement between his actions and words. However, if he says something and then does not follow through with it then that is BAD. That means he may potentially be using you or taking advantage of you. I am sure there are probably a thousand little ways that an ex can use you after a breakup not even exaggerating. If you think I am check out PRO. So, I am just going to be talking about the two main ways that an ex can use you after a breakup.
Now, I am one of the very few people on this earth that is qualified to make claims like this because I have seen tens of thousands of relationships and their problems. So, here it is.
enter site Emotionally- This is basically when an ex boyfriend will use you for emotional support when he has no intention of getting back together with you. It is a little like being friend zoned. Ok, well this is basically when an ex boyfriend will use you for sex and then discard you and then try to use you for sex again. Obviously, I am going to be going into each of these different ways in much greater detail but before I get into that I do want to make you aware of something first.
I am sure if you looked hard enough you would be able to find information on the many different emotional and physical ways in which an ex boyfriend can use you I know because I looked. Well, that problem ends now because on top of providing you information about the emotional and physical ways in which you can be used I will also be dedicating just as much time and effort into showing you what to do if you are indeed being used. The truth is on the inside I am a little insecure.
I have thought a lot about what caused that insecurity and I know exactly what it was. While that was a long time ago and I am happy to say that is ancient history even to this day some of those insecurities are still left over. Almost all men I have met have weird insecurities like this even your ex boyfriend. For example, have you ever met a guy who is extremely cocky?
Almost like he is trying to prove he is extremely confident. Well, I would be willing to wager that the main reason he is so cocky is that he is trying to cover up some insecurity.
Again, this can be risky because he could be thinking along the same lines , so please seek advice before using this method. What hurts me the most is that I finally realized that he tells me things I want to hear and once we have sex he acts different. Pin FB Print ellipsis More. I feel that I may have put him in a position of power after begging when our relationship was over months ago and agreeing to friends with benefits. Honestly, I am having pleasure seeing him squirm and not getting anything in return. Free On Demand Coaching.
Imagine a little 18 year old version of me Chris Seiter. Seriously, that was me in high school. Now lets introduce an attractive girl into the mix. Lets say that this girl showers me with compliments and tells me things like,. Basically, this girl is laying it on pretty thick.
Well, all of those compliments feel amazing because in my own head I think the opposite of what she is saying about myself. Pretty soon those horrible thoughts I was having get replaced with thoughts like,. Maybe I am good looking and I do have a lot to offer. The point is that the compliments and the way the girl made me feel about myself is addicting. It is almost like a blindfold has been taken off of you and you are being introduced to an entirely different world.
The more girls that shower you with compliments the better the feeling. As a man I can tell you there is no greater feeling than having a drop dead gorgeous woman wanting you. Seriously, when things are going right for me in my own personal relationships I walk out the door every day thinking,. What if I told you that some men out there like the fact that they have their ex to rely on. These men have no intention of committing to you they just want to use you for the emotional support you provide. In other words, they want to use you because they know you can make them feel better about themselves.
Oh, and the most rotten part of the deal is that they have no intention of making you feel good emotionally. It is completely one sided and selfish. Because, I have done this before and this is me owning up to my mistake by making you ladies aware that there are men out there like this. Free On Demand Coaching Yes, please. You date a guy and then the guy breaks up with you.
Maybe down the road you two talk and get on good terms again. Talking to you makes the guy feel really good but he never has any intention of becoming involved with you. Of course, you do want to become involved with him. Sensing this he makes a conscious decision to do something. It opens the door for him to keep feeling good about himself without you getting anything in return. Essentially, that phrase is a springboard for a guy to USE you.
It puts you on the hook and once you are on that hook he can play with you as much as he wants without any repercussions until you get off the hook and rain down hell. If you are being used either emotionally or physically then that means that the guy that is using you does not view you as his equal. I am proud to say that I have never used anyone physically I am not that cruel but I have used someone emotionally before. I tell this story a little more in-depth in my book but I suppose I can splurge some of the details for you here. Let me tell you, even though I am an extremely nice person, deep down I felt I was a little above them.
You see, in order for me to use them they would have to have feelings for me and I would have to manipulate them to say good things about me by saying things that I think they might want to hear. Anyways, if I were able to successfully manipulate them that would give me the power of control and I guarantee you that in the back of my mind I would be thinking something like,. I want you to convince him that YOU are above him. Lets turn the tables on him and make him think that you are the alpha in the relationship.
I know that so far this guide has been a little gloomy since it is talking about women being used by men but I am about to change that. Now I would like to offer a solution for how to deal with a guy who is using you emotionally. First things first though, since you are being used by your ex I am going to give you some required reading materials. If your ex boyfriend is using you then we need to put a stop to that immediately.
The way you do that is by cutting him out for a little while. Well, if an ex is using you emotionally then he has probably gotten into the habit of talking to you pretty routinely. I want you to disrupt this routine and I want you to slowly wean him off of you. I want you to show him that life without you is miserable.
When you have him to the point where he is craving you after 7 days of no contact that is when it is ok to finally talk to him again. If you want the full rules I recommend getting my Texting Bible. The way you talk to your ex boyfriend after the week long no contact rule is going to have to change. One thing that we have already established is the fact that your ex boyfriend is using you emotionally to feel better about himself. He does this by manipulating you into making him feel wanted through things like compliments, feelings, etc.
I know this because this is what I teach women to use on men to get them reminiscing of the good times. Well, if an ex boyfriend is using you emotionally then it is a safe bet that he is using something like the text message above to elicit a response from you that gives him an ego boost. Hey, sometimes in order to get the guy you have to be willing to lose the guy. Well, if he gives you a really nice compliment then it is ok for you to return the favor because he will have earned that compliment. A professional tennis player can serve a tennis ball as high as MPH.
Obviously, when the tennis player is getting ready to serve the ball there is someone across the net getting ready to return that serve. So, lets say that a tennis player tosses the ball up and serves it at MPH. It may come back across the net at something like 90 MPH. This same analogy needs to be applied to compliments.
Lets say that you make your ex boyfriend earn your compliment by him giving you a compliment first. Well, if you decide you would like to return the favor by giving him a compliment your compliment cannot match the intensity of his. Many of you commonly know it as friends with benefits.
In other words, where two consenting people decide not to officially date but still have the physical benefits like sex, kissing, etc. Before I dive in to what I am going to say I just want to give you a quick warning. I am going to be touching on a very complex subject here.
I am going to be blunt, truthful and I guarantee that if you are being used physically what I have to say here is going to hurt you may even cry. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. You realize it really is over. You broke up for a reason.
Once an asshole, always an asshole. You get to be the bad one for a change. Keep the delivery menus in an easily accessible place at all time. They may not be the person they once were. Never leave an ex alone in your apartment. Your ex will probably always be a little jealous. Hell hath no fury like … well, you know the rest, and now so does Chris,