It is just the way it is. His final destination in his faith transition will greatly affect your children and right now that is one big unknown. If you had 10 years and three kids it would be a different thing. But you have choses, until you have kids. Interfaith marriages are hard enough; but the more different the beliefs between you and your spouse, the harder the road. Question for you Jrpweis. You, of course do not have to answer. When it came to the birth of your children, did you have them baptized in the Catholic Church?
This to me is when things get interesting in interfaith marriages. Interfaith marriages are easier when it is just you two. But after kids come, things change. There are expectations from both church communities and from both sides of the family. It is no longer easy to do both, your spouse may feel it is critical to have their child baptized just after birth for example. Both my children were baptized just after birth in the Lutheran church my family attends.
My older child is going to be baptized in the LDS church this year. My other child is young, but I assume he will be baptized as well into the LDS church when old enough. If it does not, then what harm does it do?
My daughter Carissa and I felt so strongly about this issue that we produced these for young people like you. Just to address a recurrent point in this comments section: Maintain good hygiene and be well-groomed. Many people have quoted the story in Matt. Take good care of your hygiene as well. Having same-sex attraction is not a sin. In-between would be the trauma of divorce.
Indeed, I found the experience very spiritually moving. Before we were married, I made it a condition that the kids would be raised LDS. In practice, when we actually had kids, it turned out that my husband was actually pretty OK with me taking the kids for three hours. Then his Lutheran church said my older child should go to Sunday School there. So she goes to quite a lot of church on Sunday less when they overlap, when she switches weeks.
Ironically, if my children did not attend the LDS church we would have left that Lutheran church already. This particular Lutheran church has very very few children like, I think the closest child in age is maybe five years older than my older child? Thank you for writing this article, Julianne.
I am a universalist Quaker in a mixed-faith marriage with a wonderful active LDS woman. I am also a former Mormon. Like you, we started dating when she was 23 — so relatively young. We have been together for nearly 10 years, and married for seven years now. I feel that our differing faiths are actually an advantage for both of us. This provides us with incredible social advantages.
Our differences allow us to find a middle ground that neither of us could consider on our own. I love her deeply and am committed to her. These differences do not hurt us or harm who we are — because we put each other first and we both have the flexibility to bend a little to reach compromise that works for both of us.
And that helps us do so with other people as well. But I also have to applaud her bravery, and yours as well. I grew up Mormon and went on a mission, so I have the background to understand the culture. I try to be as understanding as possible in realizing that different people have different priorities.
My first marriage — performed in an LDS temple — fell apart after a few years because it lacked these things — and all the escalation of anger led to a very bitter end. And those principles exist entirely outside the scope of religion. They are part of the personal DNA of successful relationships. That is why we seal ALL the family of mankind together in temples.
And we know missionary work in the hereafter is more successful than it is here. That is the great work that happens there. The following is my opinion and what I think. Ancestors there, from long ago, know what the truth is and have already accepted it or are waiting for it. People in every family know and they teach their newly arrived descendants.
It is well organized. What matters most is a couple have the same core values. This life is very limited. We have our twenties to find someone and start a family. Premortally, we lived likely millions or billions of years. When we cross the veil, we are told we will find we have more friends and family than we have made here.
It follows that our eternal spouse should already be known , providing both prove worthy. Whatever relationships we had prior to mortality, I expect those will be eternal because they have always been. We have one child agreed to be raised LDS and who just married in the temple—the first temple marriage. My experience has been the opposite: Mem The terrestrial kingdom is going to be filled with people who rejected the gospel in life but later accepted it and other kingdoms are going to be filled with people who did not honor their covenants and will not be permitted to live as families.
Now is the time to change things. Having served an honorable mission, he would return home, desiring to complete his education and looking forward to finding his companion to love and cherish for eternity. Trying to please his Heavenly Father, he would see that his courtship is kept unsullied.
Again trying to please his Heavenly Father, he would be married worthily in the way which God has prepared for those who love him and those who desire his richest blessings—that is, in His holy house under the authority of His everlasting priesthood. Advocating that Mormons marry out of their faith is a good way to make Mormonism disappear.
Just as is currently happening with American Jews. Inter faith marriages between active lds and non lds are more difficult. Marriages over time are a series of compromises. With a non lds spouse there is simply more to complicate things. Tithing or no tithing?
Mom serve a time consuming calling? We get these types of posts from time to time in the bloggernaccle. The real issues are coming soon. There seems to be a lot of Schadenfreude in some of these comments. But what I shared is actually quite intimate, based on strong experiences of personal revelation and a great deal of study, prayer and thought — and it feels a bit cruel to have commenters discount that completely, and almost wait for my marriage to dissolve, or my husband and I to be separated in the terrestrial kingdom for all eternity. Anyway, to answer the query above — we did have both children baptized in the Catholic church as infants, and plan on them being baptized in the Mormon church at 8.
I said in my OP that I recognize challenges are very much still to come: My husband and I are fully cognizant of these issues and are ready to tackle them prayerfully, as a family. At any rate, all the things you listed—Tithing or no tithing? I feel the same. And yes, those issues listed were also so minimal to me — and were easily worked out while we were dating. He has participated in our wards in various callings too.
Surely we would have worked through things like this before entering marriage. The thing is, all things are not equal. Tithing, 3-hour church, and time-consuming callings were things we had to talk about, but yeah, no more than a couple sealed in the temple would have to work through. I will also say that in my anecdotal evidence, my Jewish friends who married interfaith were already of no religion before they did that and their parents were both Jewish. Bbell — how about 12 years in a couple of months, oldest kid is 8?
Is that long enough for you that I can cosign this article? When is long enough? The crux for me is that we too often downplay the difficulties in same-faith marriages and expect the worst from interfaith marriages. Life is long without even contemplating the eternities. We put the cart before the horse in thinking that a temple marriage will mean that we can live happily with that person for the next 6 decades. The issue about expectations for premarital intimacy is a real issue depending on the person.
If they are similarly religiously committed to abstinence, that can work, but honestly, most of the faiths that abstain before marriage are probably the least compatible with Mormonism because they are similarly rigid about their primacy. I am glad to hear that for you it was and is easy. I really am, this was not my experience and is not the experience of a lot of interfaith couples I know.
So it is good to hear success stories now and then. He sounds like a real keeper. As for after this life; if you and your husband can stay faithful to Jesus Christ and have the Atonement of Christ work in your lives, and raise your children in truth and righteousness, I think you will be happy with what comes.
Peterllc, same goes for you and your wife. Just to address a recurrent point in this comments section: Surely good communication and mutual respect between dating parties which seems like it ought to be a baseline expectation before any consideration of marriage anyway ensures that the wishes of each party with regard to the level of sexual activity in the relationship are honored.
That has uniformly been my experience with my relationships with dating partners who were not LDS. The moralizing vein about the sexual dangers of non-Mormon dating in these comments does not correlate with my lived experience in any way. I understand why my post may seem arrogant, naive, and misplaced against that. But I think we more often hear the negative than we do the positive, and I hope that for others, like many commenters on this thread, who have had positive experiences, my post can help them.
But it is still hard. That goes to all kinds of marriages. Thank you again for your kind words. And yes, I love my husband dearly. I really really lucked out with him. If you are in the church on Sunday, member, non-member or whatever, that is a win for me, life is long and the eternity is longer, plenty of time for all of us to figure out what we need to figure out. A good spouse is harder to find and worth more than Rubies.
The love for your husband comes thru your posts; your husband is a lucky man, be happy and stay strong.
That is were the trouble really kicks in. The navigation gets more difficult. Why not encourage members of the Church marry non-members? Perhaps because the Church cares about intact families, to say nothing of making eternal covenants that preclude exaltation. A lot of this hinges on the concept of exclusionary truth to be found only in the Mormon Church. Honestly speaking, most Mormons including myself believe that to some degree.
But we also believe in an infinite and eternal atonement, which extends far beyond this life. Who are we to say that for a loving, faith-filled couple who raise great kids in two different faith traditions, that not being sealed in the temple in this life closes all those doors for them? If the atonement truly is infinite and eternal, then we have a very long time in our post-mortal life for us to figure things out one way or the other.
Christ will never shut a door on us when we are on the other side knocking. And eternity is a very, very long time. Or, 2 and related to 1: One or both of you are not that "serious" about your faith. But after they get married, one of them begins to get serious. And when he or she does, then that person begins to realize the immense differences between their faiths. And accordingly, tries to "convert" the other. If that fails, the marriage often ends in divorce.
I have known of cases where the Mormon church, despite all it's public rhetoric about the importance of family, has virtually forced the Mormon to get a divorce when the spouse did not prove "receptive" to the Mormon faith. In one case, the Mormon church even provided a truck and helped the Mormon woman move out of the Christian's house!
Now, I know you will think "That won't happen to us; we're too much in love! There is a reason there is such strong directive in the Scriptures about a Christian not marrying a non-Christian 2Cor 6: Now, I am not one to judge a person's salvation. I leave that in the hands of God. Maybe your girlfriend really is a Christian.
But if she is, it is in spite or, not because of Mormonism. I'm struggling with whether their beliefs are acceptable for salvation or not. Because we love each other, and I know for certain that she desires to know the truth with a passion, we want to work out our religious differences and come to a common understanding of truth.
My beliefs are solid and it'll take nothing less than a conviction from the Holy Spirit to change them, But I fear that hers are also. There is no way the two of you will "work out your religious differences" unless: One of you converts to the other's viewpoint. You both compromise severely on your respective faiths. The point is, there is no "compromise" between the true Christian faith and Mormonism. I will say this, I would strongly advice you two to work something out long before you start talking marriage.
Don't just push this aside and say we will deal with it later. It will hurt much more latter than now to deal with it. I guess I'd just like some insight on the situation, and a recommendation on how I should go about convincing her of the Trinity and eventually the fallibility of the Book of Mormon. One advantage is that she believes in the Bible, but she is closely attached to the Book of Mormon and its church. I understand if you don't have enough time to reply but in any case; Thanks for all the research material that you have provided It will help a bunch. Okay, since you asked, here is my advice.
Print up my main article on Mormonism: Just Another Christian Denomination? Give a copy to her and ask her if what I say the Mormon church teaches in that article is in fact what it teaches. If she says it does, then go through the many Scripture verses I refer to in the article that show the teachings of these Mormon "prophets and apostles" very clearly contradict those of the Bible. If she says the article does not correctly represent Mormonism which I suspect more likely will happen then point out to her as nicely but as firmly as you can that I quote profusely from the writings of Mormon prophets and apostles.
If she says I am misrepresenting their teachings, then show her the extensive documentation at the end of the article. Tell her to check out the original sources herself. They should be available in her Mormon church's library or at a Mormon bookstore. The point is, get her to confront what the Mormon church really teaches. It is only by bringing this out now that you two can really look at and discuss the differences between Mormonism and Christianity. If you try to gloss over them now, as I said, eventually, later she will come across these teachings and you will have to deal with them then.
And again, better now than latter. Six Days in August: In this interview, Jaroslav Pelikan explains how the creeds arose and why they are important to the church. Is God an Exalted Man? Here we see the Mormon system of thought that God the Father was once like us and is, even now, progressing forward in knowledge and power. The Heavenly Mother Mormons rarely talk about God's wife, but their writings speak of their beliefs that God has one or more heavenly wives.
Did Adam Become the Heavenly Father?
What Happens in Temples? This article from the official LDS webpage explains the rituals taking place in a Mormon temple and why they are necessary for living with God in the highest heaven. This prohibition is found in Section 89 of Doctrine and Covenants. My Temple Recommend Expired A young Mormon woman describes her shame in arriving at the temple only to learn she had let her temple recommend expire.
What's the Mormon Community Like? Baptisms for the Dead Using an obscure passage from 1 Corinthians 15, the Latter-day Saints perform proxy baptisms for the dead.